YOU SHOULD KNOW

One of most common problems in marriage today is anxiety, a condition most couples experience due to unrealistic expectations in marriage. Expectations are ‘strong’ ideologies that something will happen or is likely to happen.

It could be based on past experiences such as accomplishments, failures, goals, beliefs and the emotional state of the mind. As much as expectations can come with important benefits in marriage, they are also the root of many marital conflicts.

Today, the number of men falling into depression is rising greatly, either as a result of their failures to meet their own expectations or the expectations of their wives. Here are a few things you can do to reduce the pressure on your husbands.

Meet your expectations

When you remove expectations from your marriage, you become more mindful and you are able to secure the benefits of living in the present rather than the past. The expectations that often weigh your husband down may be caused by his desire to satisfy your needs, especially if you find it difficult to compromise. Unfortunately, your demands will continue to breed insecurity in your marriage but when you stop expecting him to meet your expectations, he will feel more comfortable and vulnerable with you also.

Read your mind

One of the most common complaints from many women in marriage today is not getting help from their husbands at home. Unfortunately the problem is not as complex as it seems if you communicate as a couple. Bear in mind that your husband is not a mind reader and cannot understand what you want unless you tell him. Do not assume that your husband should know that you need help, be specific about your needs. It only takes a few words to make the difference rather than expecting him to figure things out for himself.

Honour your time

Some women have a very unpleasant habit of using their own time for their husbands so that things can get done quickly and in their own time too. As ambitious as that may sound, it can send the wrong signal, making your husband feel incompetent while you continue to play his role and yours together. Stop expecting your husband to do things using your own time alone, be considerate and learn to wait for his directives too.

Change for you


Marriage takes a great amount of patience and endurance, especially when you marry a man who has completely different values from yours and you start to wish that you could change him. Unfortunately, when two different habits and personalities cohabit, it exposes the good, the bad and the ugly sides of each person.

Trying to change your husband is as difficult as trying to change yourself. It is a process that is not impossible but may be difficult to achieve. When you stop expecting your husband to change, you will begin to focus on the positives rather than the negatives.

Give complete love

Although marriage comes with the vows of unconditional love; in reality today, many couples find it difficult to enjoy this kind of love. Every woman wants to feel loved by her husband, however, your husband may find it difficult to feel love himself, especially if he has a different understanding of loved from his childhood.

LIVE RIGHT
LOVE RIGHT
MARRY RIGHT

WHY MARRY?

Dont marry for sex.
Dont marry because u admire wedding gowns.
Dont marry because u need someone to assist u financially.
Dont marry because u ve seen a romantic, handsome guy/ beautiful lady u dont want to lose to another person.
Dont marry because of ur age [ur friends are getting married].
Dont marry because u got pregnant.

Marry because u want to be a help mate, because u want to fulfill a purpose, etc [ur reason].

Live right
love right
marry right

MY JUDGEMENT "THE SPECIAL ONE"

MY JUDGEMENT "THE SPECIAL ONE"


Marriage is a wonderful thing. Yes.
But you do not rush into it.
You need prayers, blessings from both parents (parents of the two partners involved) and studying / knowing your partner and the tradition better.
In as much as prayer is good, the other two tell more about a partner.

What do I mean?

When you create time for yourselves,  you study and find out if you can MANAGE or TOLERATE (not ENDURE) the flaws of your partner because he or she will never be PERFECT. When you involve so much sex and look at his or her huge pocket, your reasoning and judgement will be bias.

If your parents welcome him and his welcomes you whole heartedly, then it is a plus because they will stand by you in not-too-rosy situations which will definitely come.

PRAYERS good. But you may not get to know God's answers. Only few do. The answers you think come from God may be your thinking which is usually influenced by what we call love or the pocket size and spending weight of your partner.

FINE.
PLACE, TRADITION and FAMILY matter a lot in marriage.
Example is OSU-CASTE-SYSTEM, many do not regard it but it is a very important thing to look out for in my place. BEING TOO CHURCHY NO REACH THERE OOO.
In some places, Some offer their wives as kola to visitors,etc.

So you have to take your making decisions about marriage personal.
You know what you want. Place them side by side and ask yourself if you can cope with that partner you call "the special one". If you can, then go without any mixed feeling and make your marriage work.

NOTE: character is an individual's way of life and not community's. So do not judge a person by his or her community.  There is sense in nonsense. So good thing can come from the dustbin.

LIVE RIGHT
LOVE RIGHT
MARRY RIGHT