CORRELATION BETWEEN DEGREE (CERTIFICATE) AND POVERTY

*7 REASONS WHY DEGREE HOLDERS ARE POOR?*


1. I have a very painful truth to dish out to graduates out there: Your degree or certificate is not the cure to poverty; the cure to poverty is your ability to see and seize opportunities. In this Article, the word P.O.O.R means: Passing Over Opportunities Repeatedly.

2. Dear Graduates, if somebody offers you an amazing opportunity, but you are not sure you can do it, say yes then learn how to do it later!, never should you say you don’t know. School rewards people for their memory. Life rewards people for their creativity and ability to solve problems. School rewards caution; life rewards daring. School hails those who live by the rules. Life exalts those who break the rules and set new ones.
3. Being on top of your class does not necessarily guarantee that you will be at the top of life. The world is filled with poor graduates but rich opportunists! Kevin Ngo once said, “If you don’t make the time to work on creating the life you want, you’re eventually going to be forced to spend a lot of time dealing with a life you don’t want”.
4. Your certificates and degrees are meant to help you garner the experience and expertise needed to fulfill your dreams; they are not your destination! I have watched pitiably many graduates with degrees and certificates languishing in poverty looking for jobs that don’t even exist while people with keen eyes for opportunities reach the pinnacle of success in the most unlikeliest of ways.
5. Do you have a graduate or degree holder around you that is poor? I bet you have as they are everywhere! I have a very painful truth to dish out to graduates out there: Your degree or certificate is not the cure to poverty; the cure to poverty is your ability to see and seize opportunities.

BASICALLY, there are seven (7) reasons why degree holders are poor.

1. THEY DON’T THINK BEYOND THEIR CERTIFICATES

Albert Einstein said, “Education is not the learning of facts, but the training of the mind to think.” Have you ever heard  creativity term “Think outside the box”? One of the major reasons why most graduates are poor is simply because they can’t see and think beyond their certificates.
I have seen engineering students work as bankers. I have seen medical doctors with great skills in web and graphic designs. I have seen lawyers that are very dexterous with finances. The list is endless!

The basic truth of life is that the skills that are needed to be much sought after and become more successful in life are not really found within the walls of the classrooms. Your certificate is just a proof that you are teachable, it does not suggest what you are totally capable of doing. You are full of possibilities when you think beyond your degrees and certificates.

2. THEY PRIORITIZE THEIR CERTIFICATES MORE THAN THEIR GIFTS AND TALENTS

I have often advised some of my colleagues, never to leave their gifts dormant while pursuing and hunting for jobs with their certificates. There must be a complementary balance in the pursuit of your passion and in the search for jobs.

Everybody is gifted for something, but the winning edge comes from our ability to work on our gifts and bless the world with it. The very best way to develop yourself is in the direction of your natural talents and interest. In order to live a fulfilled and impactful life, we need to work harder on our gift than our job. We need to discover our gift, develop it, and sell it. Don’t bury your TALENT with your certificates.

3. THEIR CERTIFICATES PREPARE THEM FOR A WORLD THAT NO LONGER EXIST

It has been found that most of the skills taught in schools are becoming obsolete in the present world. The world has changed a lot, and so are people’s need! It is imperative to know that the present form of university education does not prepare students for the future.

Graduates are becoming endangered species in the face of a changing world. Our archaic methods and approaches of learning are preparing graduates for a world that no longer exist, as we are churning out degree holders every year with certificates that have face value but no intrinsic worth. Most learning institutions are filled up with lecturers and pseudo-educators with lecture notes, methods and approaches that have lost relevance in a changing world.

4. THEY KNOW LESS ABOUT THEMSELVES BUT MORE ABOUT THINGS

Certificates and degrees don’t reveal people to themselves; they at most measure our IQ (Intelligent Quotient). I have often tell people that there is no Recovery without Discovery. A poor man is simply someone that has not discovered himself.

The more you discover yourself, the more you realize the treasures that are hidden deep within you. We carry inside ourselves latent treasures that can only be unveiled through self-discovery.

5. CERTIFICATES AND DEGREES CAN KILL INITIATIVES

Degrees and certificates can close up your minds to ideas while initiatives open it up. If you are not careful, your degrees and certificates can close up your mind. The purpose of education is to keep your mind perpetually opened towards limitless possibilities!

Fred Smith saw an opportunity for overnight delivery of anything anywhere in the USA, and ultra- fast delivery anywhere in the world, FedEx was born. It will be interesting to know that Fred Smith got a grade “C” in a Yale economics class for an idea that the professor belittled as unworkable.
Fred Smith’s company became the first American business to make over ten billion dollars in annual profit. Beginning with just 186 packages delivered the first night, FedEx now delivers in over two hundred countries using over 6,030 aircraft, 46,000 vehicles and 141,000 employees.

6. DEGREES AND CERTIFICATES POSITION YOU TO LOOK FOR JOBS AND NOT FOR OPPORTUNITIES

Our certificates and degrees prepare graduates to look for jobs and not open our eyes to life-changing opportunities. You are not poor because you don’t have a job; you are poor because you are not seeing and seizing opportunities.

Being POOR is simply Passing Over Opportunities Repeatedly! What keeps people ahead in life is not their education or degrees, it is simply the opportunity that they seized. Jobs may be scarce but not opportunities.

As long as there is a problem to be solved, there will always be opportunities. It is a waste of our education, exposure, and experiences if after we graduate from school, all we think about is searching for a job. An enlightened and educated mind should be able to see and seize opportunities.

7. CERTIFICATES AND DEGREES PREPARE PEOPLE TO LOOK FOR SECURITY AND NOT TO TAKE RISKS

We must be willing to make mistakes and take breakthrough risks. Taking risks and learning from mistakes help us in knowing what works and what does not! When Thomas Edison was being questioned by a mischievous journalist on how he felt for having failed for 999 times before getting the idea of the light bulb, his response stunned the whole world when he confidently said, “I have not failed 999 times, I have only learned 999 ways of how not to make a light bulb”.

Many graduates and degree holders are becoming progressively poor because the skills required in the modern world to get rich are not taught in schools and institutions. By 2025, we’ll lose over five million jobs to automation. This means that future jobs will look vastly different by the time many people graduate from the university.

Future jobs will involve KNOWLEDGE PRODUCTION/CREATION and innovation, and people that are only equipped with skills found in the classroom will definitely be a misfit in an ever-changing world. Skills like critical thinking, creativity, people’s skill, STEM skills (e.g Coding), complex problem-solving skills etc. are central to living a more comprehensive and productive life.

8 THEREFORE, in conclusion, My humble and candid advice to graduates and students in institutions is to think wide, deep and outside the box. Take volunteer jobs, and don’t be afraid to navigate fields that are different from your field of learning. Your future career will require you to pull information from many different fields to come up with creative solutions to future problems.
Start by reading as much as you can about anything and everything that interests you. Once you get to college, consider double majoring or minoring in completely different fields. Trust me, it’ll pay off in the long run.

Don’t limit yourself to the classroom. Do something practical. Take a leadership position. Start a business and fail; that’s a better entrepreneurship. Contest an election and lose. It will teach you something political science will not teach you. Attend a seminar. Read books outside the scope of your course.
Think less of becoming an excellent student, but think more of becoming an excellent person. Don’t make the classroom your world, but make the world your classroom. Step forward and try something extra. Invest in something you believe! Real financial security and freedom is not in your job, but in your passion, gifts, talents, and your ability to see and seize opportunities.


THINK TWICE
TAKE THE RIGHT DECISION
LIVE  RIGHT

colour of love by Omeke Prisca

colour of love by Omeke Prisca

JULY 20, 2016CITYMOONLEAVE A COMMENT

Ada: Eric, you have been avoiding my calls. What is wrong? What is the reason for this sudden development?

Eric: Ada, my darling, I have been very busy. I will come to your house to explain to you. Meanwhile there is no problem.

After two months, Ada kept expecting Eric’s call to no avail. In the fourth month, he came narrating how and why his parents had said NO to their imminent marriage.

Ada is an Osu. Eric, a free born cannot associate with her talk more of marrying her. Painful. right? I guess so.

In igbo land, most parents do not want their son or daughter to marry an Osu.

No Osu equally admits to the fact that he or she is an Osu. I ask, why? Is it that they are not aware? I guess it is the way the society frowns at the sound of the word ‘Osu’ or what do you think?

But for a serious relationship leading to marriage, why would someone hide the truth from the partner? Does it mean that a foundation built on lies is the best?

Personally, I believe that someone who loves you will always love you even if it doesn’t end in marriage. Why the lie and secret?

For the above questions, I had to do some researches. Guess what I found out.

Osu caste system is an ancient practice in south-eastern Nigeria which discourages social interactions and marriage with a group of persons called Osus. Osus are dedicated to deities and considered as inferior beings and are usually separated from Nwadiala, free born. Some said osus are people banished/ostracized from communities for refusing orders of a king or the decisions of the community. They are not allowed to associate with the free born. They are sometimes given a separate seat in the church. They are not allowed to break kola or make prayers on behalf of real born because it is believed to be a calamity. This group, osus, suffer denial of chieftaincy tittle, violent disruption of marriage ceremonies, etc.

I also found out that on 20/03/1956, igbo legislators in the eastern house of assembly, Enugu, abrogated the practice of referring to people as osu. Fines were imposed. This discouraged people from expression of the word, osu.

You can also read a book ‘the secret of nothing’. It addressed this topic in a good way.

Now, if this act has been discouraged, why is it that serious relationship/ intermarriage between the osus and the rest of the community is still forbidden?

From my discussion, I learnt that most of the osus do well in life even in politics. I asked ‘does it mean God promote them more to make sure they feel better about their status?’

Just a question, out of my curiosity.

I believe there is still hope.

Someone (Chikawrites) said he doesn’t care. If a person finds love and that person is of different ‘whatever’ from him or her, it shouldn’t matter because the two of them found love.

Another person agreed to the above statement. But the last person answered “my wife and I are real. She is a free born just like I am. If I love an osu, I can consider her.” There is something about this last guest. He wasn’t real I guess. He was trying to paint words. I do not know why but he stammered when we went deep into the topic.

In the church, the word, osu is preached against. Marriage between an osu and a free born is encouraged. So why does some tradition say otherwise?

Fine, we all have tradition yet we have embraced Christianity, but which one do we place above the other? Like they said, we should not just act or conclude. Sometimes, we should go to our great grandparents for clarifications.

Do we go strictly traditional in taking decisions about marriage?

Is osu really an ancient tradition or what? Should it be one of the criteria for marriage?

Love comes in every colour. It is not the big stink that it used to be. Anyway, I am just a writer. I am neutral. Your comments are needed.

Live right,

Love right,

Marry right.

The Underhand Lover. By Prisca Omeke

CITYMOON

Cheating is complex. It is difficult to define because its understanding varies with individuals. What some consider as cheating can be seen as normal by others. Some say cheating is betraying a partner’s expectations. This makes it problematic because couples rarely discuss exactly what their expectations are. Others define cheating as unfaithfulness, having sexual relationship with persons other than your regular sex partner. With this definition, it shows cheating only takes place in the bed. Isn’t it?

I interviewed many on this topic, cheating, and responses I got were centred on one thing.  It says cheating means quality time not spent together with the right partner. This means everybody cheats. Isn’t it?  Do we all cheat? I do not think so. We have needs to talk, communicate, etc., and when you have these needs, who do you turn to? Your partner or the opposite sex?

Anything you don’t provide in terms of emotional, intellectual and physical needs, your partner will look to others for them.  In other words, we all seek to meet our needs, and if our partner isn’t there in certain ways, we find others. Those others sometimes form the basis for an affair, or create an emotional bond that replaces our partner, or extract from the partnership that it really needs to grow and adapt. What do you do that someone else cannot easily do?  What do you have that no other has? NOTHING! You have to be so good that others can’t really compete. This is, more than any other thing.

Cheating in relationships is rampant yet its definition is very complicated. An estimated half of married partners cheat on their spouse. If you include other types of committed relationships, the percentage of cheating goes up. We can assume most partners will cheat at some point in a committed relationship.

Cheating is sometimes a cause of divorce and at other times as a symptom of a weakened relationship. Cheating can sometimes be a way to end an unhealthy relationship, or gain clarity about some things, but it is also generally a very painful experience for one or both committed partners.

So, when is cheating, cheating?

The following are considered as cheating when it does not involve your regular partner. Online affairs, purchase of gifts for an opposite sex, engaging in sexual talks with others, having sexual contact with others, sharing private thoughts and feelings with another, denying your partner, etc.

It is not that people like questioning their partner’s fidelity.  But, when you do not give him or her attention, when you dress like a prostitute and your spouse tries to correct you always and it leads to nag and quarrel, when you abuse your partner physically, emotionally and psychologically (torture), when you look for the slightest opportunity to make your partner feel bad and reduce her or him to nothing, when you totally disregard your marriage or/ and partner,  when you become a parasite and totally depend on your partner financially, it could lead to cheating.

The actions above that lead to cheating get the denied partner worried and even more worried if there is another couple by the side that doesn’t lack what he or she is lacking in her relationship.

The mind is evil at times. It gets you thinking in the wrong direction especially in the seasons of fire (when the situation is bad).  As time goes on, this person starts comparing the marriage to others and may nurse doing things that could lead to cheating and eventually a crash of marriage. These might include going out to talk to people (including the wrong persons: divorced, singles and others who wants to have what you have which they can’t have) who will give listening ears (attention) and advice (especially the wrong one).

Cheating is often a function of opportunity. Traveling with a co-worker, being at a party late without your partner, spending lots of time alone, drinking too much in a bar alone, can create opportunities. If you do things together as a couple, others won’t have as much access. Always stay in touch. Call or text if one of you is out late at night or at any agreed time.  If others begin to text or call your partner too much, it is fair to ask but give him or her a breathing space. Do not be a stalker.

Most times, cheating starts with the men. Some women call them wolves in sheep clothing.  Men should discipline themselves and control their insatiable libido. But, for you, a woman with the right attitude and knowledge, to bring him closer, you do not need to create a scene or blow things out of proportion. Humans have different way of dealing with matters and of course, cheating. Some people handle matters in an awkward manner though. When it comes to cheating, you have to deal with it your own way especially when you have identified the root.

Important note:

There should not be unfaithfulness among people who are not legally married nor persons whose relationship has not been formally defined. Once you have not been married or any marital rite performed on you, others should be fully welcomed. Have you ever thought of a situation where you are fully devoted to a partner, you play the role of a ‘married’ person to him or her when the relationship has not been truly and clearly defined and you avoid others, only for you to find out that you have wasted time? If this happens, you might start to regret and even go back to your shell (keep to yourself) and may remain there for another wasted time blaming who you are not to blame. The problem is you. Therefore, cheating should not be seen in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

A topic as vast as this can’t just end in a day, so, fasten your seat belt and hold on for me till next two weeks. Same time, Wednesday.

Love right.

Prisca Omeke is the author of Rosy All the Way.

MARRY RIGHT

Marry right — citymoonblog

JUNE 1, 2016CITYMOON

You need to understand that there is no marriage made in heaven. All marriages are made here on earth. Marriage is not about marrying the right person but being the right person. Marriage is not about marrying the one you love but loving the one you married. You need to make yourself the right person. 

THE LADIES GUIDE

YOU SHOULD KNOW

One of most common problems in marriage today is anxiety, a condition most couples experience due to unrealistic expectations in marriage. Expectations are ‘strong’ ideologies that something will happen or is likely to happen.

It could be based on past experiences such as accomplishments, failures, goals, beliefs and the emotional state of the mind. As much as expectations can come with important benefits in marriage, they are also the root of many marital conflicts.

Today, the number of men falling into depression is rising greatly, either as a result of their failures to meet their own expectations or the expectations of their wives. Here are a few things you can do to reduce the pressure on your husbands.

Meet your expectations

When you remove expectations from your marriage, you become more mindful and you are able to secure the benefits of living in the present rather than the past. The expectations that often weigh your husband down may be caused by his desire to satisfy your needs, especially if you find it difficult to compromise. Unfortunately, your demands will continue to breed insecurity in your marriage but when you stop expecting him to meet your expectations, he will feel more comfortable and vulnerable with you also.

Read your mind

One of the most common complaints from many women in marriage today is not getting help from their husbands at home. Unfortunately the problem is not as complex as it seems if you communicate as a couple. Bear in mind that your husband is not a mind reader and cannot understand what you want unless you tell him. Do not assume that your husband should know that you need help, be specific about your needs. It only takes a few words to make the difference rather than expecting him to figure things out for himself.

Honour your time

Some women have a very unpleasant habit of using their own time for their husbands so that things can get done quickly and in their own time too. As ambitious as that may sound, it can send the wrong signal, making your husband feel incompetent while you continue to play his role and yours together. Stop expecting your husband to do things using your own time alone, be considerate and learn to wait for his directives too.

Change for you


Marriage takes a great amount of patience and endurance, especially when you marry a man who has completely different values from yours and you start to wish that you could change him. Unfortunately, when two different habits and personalities cohabit, it exposes the good, the bad and the ugly sides of each person.

Trying to change your husband is as difficult as trying to change yourself. It is a process that is not impossible but may be difficult to achieve. When you stop expecting your husband to change, you will begin to focus on the positives rather than the negatives.

Give complete love

Although marriage comes with the vows of unconditional love; in reality today, many couples find it difficult to enjoy this kind of love. Every woman wants to feel loved by her husband, however, your husband may find it difficult to feel love himself, especially if he has a different understanding of loved from his childhood.

LIVE RIGHT
LOVE RIGHT
MARRY RIGHT

WHY MARRY?

Dont marry for sex.
Dont marry because u admire wedding gowns.
Dont marry because u need someone to assist u financially.
Dont marry because u ve seen a romantic, handsome guy/ beautiful lady u dont want to lose to another person.
Dont marry because of ur age [ur friends are getting married].
Dont marry because u got pregnant.

Marry because u want to be a help mate, because u want to fulfill a purpose, etc [ur reason].

Live right
love right
marry right

MY JUDGEMENT "THE SPECIAL ONE"

MY JUDGEMENT "THE SPECIAL ONE"


Marriage is a wonderful thing. Yes.
But you do not rush into it.
You need prayers, blessings from both parents (parents of the two partners involved) and studying / knowing your partner and the tradition better.
In as much as prayer is good, the other two tell more about a partner.

What do I mean?

When you create time for yourselves,  you study and find out if you can MANAGE or TOLERATE (not ENDURE) the flaws of your partner because he or she will never be PERFECT. When you involve so much sex and look at his or her huge pocket, your reasoning and judgement will be bias.

If your parents welcome him and his welcomes you whole heartedly, then it is a plus because they will stand by you in not-too-rosy situations which will definitely come.

PRAYERS good. But you may not get to know God's answers. Only few do. The answers you think come from God may be your thinking which is usually influenced by what we call love or the pocket size and spending weight of your partner.

FINE.
PLACE, TRADITION and FAMILY matter a lot in marriage.
Example is OSU-CASTE-SYSTEM, many do not regard it but it is a very important thing to look out for in my place. BEING TOO CHURCHY NO REACH THERE OOO.
In some places, Some offer their wives as kola to visitors,etc.

So you have to take your making decisions about marriage personal.
You know what you want. Place them side by side and ask yourself if you can cope with that partner you call "the special one". If you can, then go without any mixed feeling and make your marriage work.

NOTE: character is an individual's way of life and not community's. So do not judge a person by his or her community.  There is sense in nonsense. So good thing can come from the dustbin.

LIVE RIGHT
LOVE RIGHT
MARRY RIGHT

WOMEN CHANGING NAMES AFTER MARRIAGE

ON MY MIND: WOMEN CHANGING NAMES AFTER MARRIAGE DIDN'T COME WITH CHRISTIANITY.
 BY
REV. FR. ERNEST MAKATA

I was just arguing with someone that Christianity never requested any married woman to change to her husband's name and he was aghast I could say such things. But it's true! Women changing their last names(Surnames) to that of their husband's came with colonialism and not Christianity. It is the BRITISH CULTURE.

IT IS  NOT EVEN AN IGBO CULTURE FOR WOMEN TO CHANGE THEIR LAST NAMES AFTER MARRIAGE.

In fact, women who wedded in the 70s and even 80s in Nigeria not only lost their maiden surnames but also lost their own first names too, when called together with their husband's in social functions. Thus, couples then were called Mr and Mrs Samuel Makata, using my parents for example. When the woman goes out on a function, she is addressed again as Mrs Samuel Makata, taking my mother for example.

Now, if  you doubt my position, those who are married should go and check the marriage documents issued by the Church at their wedding and see if the woman's surname was ever changed.

I am not against women changing their maiden names to that of the man. No! You can use that and it seems more suitable following popular practice in this case. But knowledge is power. Let us not act out of ignorance or say that the Church says what it didn't say.

Changing maiden names by women after marriage MAY mean submission to the authority of the husband. So, it is encouraged. Even though we know it is not a guarantee of a submissive and obedient married women in the long run.

In many European countries, just like in traditional Igbo culture, happily married women retain their maiden names.

It's good you know this. You can disagree with me with facts anyway. It's an open space.

Here are some comments.

Mathew Ezea said "In Germany for instance,  a woman is asked before church wedding which surname she wishes to bear.  In other words, she is free to retain hers or take up her husband's. This too corroborates your submission that it is not Christianity that brought the culture of women changing their names to those of their husbands"

Ezeugwu Okike said "You are right. Perfectly. I for sure know that it was not the Igbo tradition"

I remember a couple of months back, when we discussed this with Mac Ugo. I am still of the opinion that women retain their median name while adding to it their husband's.

In Mazi Ikechukwu Mamah words "My wife even through wanted to be Oluchi Mamah, still remains Oluchi Ndukwe-Mamah, I insisted".

According to Ijeoma Jovita "In support of your position, my two grand mothers didn't change their surnames. Though women are trying to revert it. By elongation"

Chinwendu Oguoma Fidel commented thus "Thanks Duf, indeed  knowledge is power, l like it when lam addressed by my maiden name".


Chimnonso Paul Ochada said "It is a common practice in Nigeria which I thought  was an article of faith until now. In fact, one needs legal permission to do that in some parts of Italy. According to them, it brings confusion to their records".

In as much as many women do not like this change of maiden name after marriage, Some women like it so that people will know they are already married so they could command that respect  given to married women.


We need to hear your own Opinion.
Feel free to comment.

Live right
Love right
Marry right

STANDARD - TO THE LADIES

TO THE LADIES
Why do you keep comparing your man with that man and a lover you will never have?

That husband you call a MONKEY today was a monkey when he walked you down the aisle. He never changed.

So, Stop!

Don't waste your time gossiping about those couples you compare your marriage to. Don't be a gossip.


Spend your time working on yourself and the way you think.
Study your man.
Try to find out what will make yours a standard. Do it.
Gossip and comparison will never take you there.
What works for the couple next door may not work for you.
BE WISE!

live right
love right
marry right

STAGES IN RELATIONSHIP: THE EYE OPENER

*****STAGES IN RELATIONSHIP: THE EYE OPENER******

1. PRETENDING OR PERFORMANCE STAGE: this is the first stage. At this stage the both parties are Angels (in quote). We only present our strong character to our partners. This stage is like marketing where you tell and present only good things about your product. Believe me nobody tells you that his or her product is bad or faulty at the beginning. You only get to know when you have finally paid for it and you are at home about to try out your newly bought item. Everybody try their best to display the best behaviour. He calls immediately and you rush to pick up. You are never busy when it is about this partner. You are always online chatting him.
Therefore, in this pretending stage, everything is perfect. The guy is perfect and the lady is flawless but wait until the second stage.

2. STORMY STAGE: this stage is the second stage. This stage is so important that you should study it carefully as it determines the future of your relationship.
Stormy stage is characterized with problems or challenges. The mask from stage one is finally off - he doesn't call you as often as he used to and she no longer picks like before. You have identified his or her flaws. There is doubt everywhere. Everything that make relationships work is under threat or test. You start wondering and might even conclude that the relationship is a big mistake, he/she can't possibly be the special one, you have wasted your time with him/her, etc. The next thing is that you quit. You start to look for somebody else who will automatically take us back to stage one and we continue going round a stage. We forget that this is a different stage. Nobody wants to experience thorns in a relationship. We all want our relationships to be rosy but we need to pass through this stage to get to our destination, marriage.
Please, we need to pass through this stage. You cannot escape it in your relationship. You must come to that point where everything seems not to be working like you want them. It is part of it but only a stage. It will come and go. Many relationships never make it passed this stage.
Therefore, my dearest friends NEVER make a permanent decision when you are in STORMY STAGE. It is a temporal stage.

3. NORMAL STAGE: this is the third stage. Here everything is normal as you have successfully passed the second stage. No one is pretending any longer. Everyone become real. You know and understand your partner and accept them for who they are. You can tell, to an extent, what they can do and can decide if you can go all the way with him or her.

4. EXCELLENCE STAGE: in this stage, you have perfected all that are required of me. You can talk about marriage and go into it. People can now refer to your relationship as a standard.
Many relationships never made it to excellence stage. They died prematurely. This could be because we want fairy-tale relationships and we forget to go through the right stages. We neglect what we have and do not bother to figure out whatever the problem is so we could look for someone else that will take us back to the pretending stage where everything is rosy.

Please dearests, do not allow relationship die when you can still handle it. Do your best if you value it. It requires your efforts.

You can consult....ROSY ALL THE WAY (FOR SINGLES AND MARRIED by Omeke Prisca) for more.


Live right
Love right
Marry right

ROAD TO A WOMAN'S HEART - MAKE HER FALL COMPLETELY IN LOVE

ROAD TO A WOMAN'S HEART  - MAKE HER FALL COMPLETELY IN LOVE

***Love her sincerely. You must not buy her a car to prove your love. Your actions does it. Do not pretend you love her.

*** Understand with her when she says she is not in the mood to make love. A woman is under obligation to satisfy her husbands sexual urge. But please, my dear men, when she has  GOOD reason not to live up to expectation, try and understand her. We understand how you feel when the urge is there but please don't rape her. Love making is better enjoyed when both partners are in the mood for it.
NOTE: WOMEN, PLEASE DON'T COME WITH GOOD REASONS EVERYDAY. BODY NO BE FIREWOOD. DO NOT PUSH HIM TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR AND EXPECT HIM TO REMAIN AN ANGEL.

****Make her feel secured with you. Protect her always. Stand by her always. Never abandon her when she needs you especially in critical situations. You don't need to deposit huge amount in her account monthly. There is difference between money and a shoulder to lean on. When she needs just an advice, your money can't give her any.

****Compliment her always. Her "ugly" face doesn't mean you can't tell her how nice she is. You must have a reason to have chosen to be with her. Don't you? Tell her how happy you are to have found her. Compliments keep your relationship alive.

*****Do not compare her with another especially your past partners. No one has it all. You are advised to go for one you can manage. So, out of all your past partners,  she should be the most manageable. Why compare her to another?

***Do not shout at her. There are better  ways to talk to a lady than shout. Do you ever wonder why women feel so bad when their husbands eat out when they wrong them? Don't you know they would  prefer to be shouted at or beaten (some)?

***Do not lie to her. Make her understand and trust you. Lies can break trust and when trust is broken, she might never trust you again. Trust is so delicate. You can break her heart and she will forgive you and the bond between you could become stronger when you make up but she might never trust you again when trust is broken. So be careful. Trust bonds love.

***Do not cheat on her. I define cheat as quality time not spent together. You can read more on my article on "the underhand lover - 1 ( https://citymoonblog.wordpress.com/2016/06/01/the-underhand-lover-by-prisca-omeke/?blogsub=confirming#subscribe-blog) and 2 ( http://chikawrites.com/2016/06/15/the-underhand-lover-2-by-prisca-omeke/)". Spend quality time with her. Make her your closest friend, confidant and gossip partner. Tell her all your secrets, not to another.

***Respect her. Give her room for suggestion when there is something you want to do. Do not take decisions alone. Remember the saying "two  good heads are better than one". Carry her along. Make her belong. Make her part of you and she will adore you forever.

***Love her family. A woman will never love you completely when you hate her family. Love her family and see the difference.

***Do not correct her in the public or before a visitor. When she makes a mistake,  cover up for her immediately in a way that no one would sense or read meaning into. That shows love.

*** Love her children. You bring out the beast in a woman when you don't love and care  for her children especially the ones she has with you.

***Do not discuss her with your friends. Let her ill behaviours be with you alone. Do not discuss things that transpired between you with your friends. Discuss it with her and find solution(s). Only get family involved when you cannot proffer a better solution.

The road to a woman's heart is not far.
Look within. It is just an easy and  simple journey.

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LIVE RIGHT
LOVE RIGHT
MARRY RIGHT

NO PUSH

YOU do not implant yourself into someone's heart.
Love is letting go.
If it returns to you, then is yours.
If you insist on holding on, it becomes hate.